This is a guest post by Amy from Money 4 This, Not 4 That, where she finds all kinds of ways to be frugal and cut costs just so she can spend the money on things that she truly enjoys. Life is not all about depriving ourselves to see how much we can save or how little we can spend. It’s about saving for the things in life that bring us joy.
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“Mom, can I have that?” A question we all hate, because depending on what it is, it might not be bad. It might be something that they need. It might be something that everyone else has and you hate for your child to be left out. It might be the fourth thing they have asked for today and you are done giving in or done saying “No!” Or it really might be important.
In the end the question makes you think!
As parents we need to remember we are trying to raise kids that know the value of money. Kids that make good decisions, kids that aren’t filled with a sense of entitlement. Frugal kids, if I may.
It’s the little things we do every day that help make that possible.
When kids are little it’s important to remember not to give into everything they want, as this will become a lifestyle for them.
Even young kids can earn a small allowance and start to buy their own things. This takes the buying power from you and puts it on their little shoulders.
“Mom, can I have that?”
“I don’t know. Do you have enough money?”
It important to guide your kids, but let them make the decisions. My kids have made many buying mistakes. It’s part of the learning process. Now they don’t make those mistakes quite so often. Money spends differently when it’s their’s instead of mom and dad’s.
On a Disneyland trip, when our kids were 3rd and 5th grade, we told them to do their chores to earn money. Whatever money they earned we would double it. That would be the amount of money we would give them to spend at Disneyland. They could choose how much of that they wanted to take.
Those were the best shopping days. My son spent his money so wisely and methodically. My daughter on the other hand, spent it fast and furious and had regrets, but learned from it.
Things change as kids grow. Now my kids are older and they have a budget for clothing and activities. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. They are 15 and 16 and learning how to get the most out of their money.
My daughter is learning how to coupon. She buys her own make-up and hair color. I send her out with coupons and tell her exactly how to use them. She always comes home and has to tell me how she did it and how much she saved. She’s so proud of herself.
With these simple ideas we are teaching kids the value of money. We are teaching them to live within their means. Hmmm, that’s a novel concept.
You know what happens when you really concentrate on teaching your kids all about money, teaching them to coupon, teaching them to look for deals? They become frugal adults. Adults that spend wisely, save well and make good decisions.
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AMen to this!! I’m sure all the folks who visit this site are all about the frugal with their kids, I mean, how can you coupon and not impart that to your kids who see you live it 24/7?? If my 5 year old is in the store with me and wants something, he doesn’t say “mom I want that”, he says “mom do you have a coupon for that?” Sometimes I do and he’s thrilled, and sometimes I don’t, and he knows if there’s no coupon, we don’t purchase it and he walks away from that item with a happy face, no tantrums in my house. And he’s my best eyes for “spitters” in the store, sometimes too good…screaming at the top of his lungs “look Mom, a COUPON!!!”. Thanks sweetie.
Love this! I have taught my 17 year old to coupon, and she helps me out on my shopping trips. I will make her her own coupon binder when she goes off on her own. Now that she is working, she also appreciates the value of a dollar even more. She is even willing to buy a lot of her clothes at thrift stores. I didn’t start until later in life, and wish I would have learned this all when I was younger instead of learning the hard way!
I give my kids (7 & 10) $10 on the 1st of the month. They can spend it, save it, burn it, lose it……I don’t care. That is their shopping money. If they blow it all on candy the first day then it’s too bad when the toy you want is on the shelf 2 days later. If one wants a $40 video game, then they’ll have to save it up. They also have to have the money with them at the store. Mom does not accept IOUs. As they get older the dollar amount will increase as will the responsibility to earn it. Occassionally I’ll offer “extra earning activities” that they can choose to do or not. It really shows their motivation when they agree to clean up dog poo!
This is good, but it’s important to teach your kids about other, larger sums as well. How do you handle medical expenses? Do you use a medical reimbursement account? Do they understand marginal tax rates? Do you pay your property taxes in full to get the discount? How much is a private college worth? Groceries and household items are good learning tools for young children, but teens should be exposed to more.
What a wonderful guest post!
I agree with twin mom. We live within our means and notice a lot of our friends who use credit cards to get points for things, and that doesn’t make sense to me. We don’t have credit cards. We are working to pay off students loans and I try hard to save money by looking for great deals. I always have a number in my head of how much I want to spend on something, if it’s over that amount, then I don’t buy it. I buy what I need, not what I want necessarily. I believe God provides opportunities to obtain things that we want, but on his terms. So yes we get things we want but we take longer to get it. I have learned to fully put my trust in the Lord, and once I did that, I learned that he is always taking care of us and helps us to pay off our debt. I instill a lot in my children and hope they learn by my example. Now I’m not a coupon freak. It takes time to organize, cut and figure it all out. I try to only buy organic and no junk food. So all these processed foods are bad, full of sodium, sugar and things I can’t pronounce! So for me buying fruits, veggies, and lean protein I end up waiting for good deals and buy bulk. Is there anyone else who tries to do the same thing? I just want my kids to learn to eat healthy and not become junk food addicts or eat out all the time.
Excellent topic & comments-gives me great ideas, as I am also a big believer in living within your means & certainly want to pass that on to my child. It can be a big challenge living in a society that largely just doesn’t get it & I think largely because they haven’t been taught to think logically in these areas-or that it is great to not want everything you lay your eyes on! I find support on these blogs with like minded people-so glad to know there are some out there!!
I have 2 kids in middle school, the age where they discover a social life that I don’t have to schedule!!
When my son hit 6th grade, he constantly had his hand out to go somewhere with one of his friends. My husband and I felt like we were being $5 and $10′ed to death! When he turned 13 we discovered that our credit union has a teen debit card account. He had to take a test to fully understand how a debit account works (love that-you have to get 100% to pass). We give him $15 every two weeks that he is in charge of depositing into his account. If he has activities that will cost more than he either has to save up his money or find work for the money (babysitting or pet sitting for neighbors). Recently he decided that he wanted to buy a new I-pod touch and just a week later he was asked to go to the Skateboarding ‘Dew Tour’ at the Rose Garden. He knew he couldn’t afford both but figured out ON HIS OWN that if he bought the I-pod used on Craigslist (with adult supervision of course!) that he could afford both and still have money left over. I’m so proud that he figured that out on his own. The hardest part of it though (and we are now going through this with our daughter) is to see them making mistakes with their money. But I just remind myself, better that they do that now with small sums of money and learn their lesson than to make those mistakes when they are older with large sums of money!
Also-for the mom with the coupon spotter….I had to tell my 6 year old that I appreciate him finding coupons for mommy but let’s just limit it to one!! He’s a little too good at this job, LOL!
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